having sex
sometimes, when I’m having sex, I think: “Gosh, this is expensive”
shaken baby syndrom
I thought if I shook ’em hard enough, it’d stop crying… In my defense, I was kinda right.
i’ve had 4 drinks…
I’ve had 4 drinks tonight, …and this one makes 6!
sack o’ treasure
genisis 43:23 “the god of your father has given you treasure… in your sack”
you’re a fag…
“You’re a fag!” Damn, how am I going to tell my dad? It was hard enough telling him I’m an…
big chicken breasts
wow, those are the biggest chicken breasts I’ve ever seen… Thank god, there are no nipples on them! – or…
dark meat…
Dibs on the dark meat… …she said. – or – …that’s what your mom said.
pregnant again?
Wow, …babys come out of there like Jiffy Popcorn.
pimp hand (part 2)
Lord, Guide my pimp hand, and make it strong, so that this bitch/(name) might learn a ho’s place. Amen.
If you don’t drink…
Shut Up. If you do NOT DRINK …you are a BORING cunt and your stories SUCK.